As the oldest of three children, I was always the first. First to go off to Kindergarten, first to drive a car, first to take the SAT, first to get a speeding ticket (just kidding that was my brother for once)- but for my whole life, I was navigating muddy waters and creating a road map based on my mistakes and failures that allowed for my siblings to have smoother sailing at certain junctions in their lives. Without knowing it at the time, each of these bumps, twists and turns were making me less afraid of the unknown. Therefore, when it came time to choose a career, I didn’t feel like I needed to go down a path just because it was clearer ahead. Since choosing pharmacy in high school, my interests have always been less traditional. Growing up, I ran everything from a pretend restaurant to a family newspaper and spent many hours creating marketing materials on Microsoft Publisher. I knew a health-related career would be challenging and interesting to me, but I was afraid it would stifle my creativity. Thankfully, I found myself on a career path where that creativity and fearlessness I developed growing up can be of service to the profession, but not without muddling through murky waters. 

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My freshman year of college, I faced multiple major setbacks in my personal life that made me feel like I was in the wrong place. When I thought back to my decision to come to South Carolina, I blamed my parents and others in my life for pushing me toward a decision that wasn’t right for me. It felt like an identity crisis that I had to somehow manage for the next six years of my life, and I was angry about the situation for a long time. Around the time I took Dr. Randazzo’s introduction to leadership course, I was finally feeling like I had found a community at the pharmacy school. Classmates and I were bonding over the struggles and successes of the pharmacy curriculum and my involvement outside of the classroom provided an added sense of fulfillment. Dr. Randazzo’s course approaches leadership as outlined by Kouzes and Posner’s book, “The Five Practices of Effective Leadership.” The practice, “challenging the process,” stood out the most to me because it finally provided a purpose to any struggle I faced academically and personally. This particular section defined the concept of ‘psychological hardiness’ generally as the persistence and resilience that moves a leader forward against the tide. When people were asked about their leadership experiences, the book cites that 95 percent of people said their experience was exciting, but a majority of those people also admitted the leadership project was frustrating and at times aroused fear or anxiety. For years, I viewed the frustration, fear and anxiety as negative and wrong, but this discussion finally validated these feelings and allowed me to change my perspective going forward.  

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During that same semester, I was asked to run for class president. At that time, I was worn down by the demands of pharmacy school and unable to find a balance between my coursework and personal life. My ability to cope with the stress of constant setbacks and failures was not where it needed to be to take on this new role, and I recognized that. The prospect of running for the position and failing was more than I could handle at the time, so I committed to having fun with the election process and maintained the perspective that regardless of the outcome, I would learn from the experience. After taking the risk to run and getting elected, I found myself in a situation where I could publicly fail often but realized that my attitude toward these failures would affect the moral of my class. Over the summer, before returning to campus, I created a list of quotes that I could read to help keep things in perspective and made a commitment to improving my psychological hardiness over the next year. 

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When I arrived back on campus for my final didactic year on campus before going out on rotations the following year, I was faced with a laundry list of responsibilities. I was Class of 2019 President, Rho Chi Honor Society Vice President, Phi Delta Chi Pharmacy Fraternity Public Relations Chair, Phi Lambda Sigma Leadership Society member and a Walker Leadership Scholar. At the same time, I was keeping up with a long-distance relationship and tasked with planning out my rotations for the following year. I’m stressed even writing out these commitments here! In Kouzes and Posner’s book, they outline that “psychological hardiness comes from how you think and act in terms of commitment, control and challenge.” The first step in turning adversity into advantage is to commit yourself to what is happening. 

Therefore, I did just that and came to terms with the fact that I would have very little free-time in the next year. I took control of the situation by focusing on my attitude each day. Relying on humor with my classmates helped me lead in a way I was more comfortable with. Taking a relational approach toward my leadership roles fueled my successes, and I realized that collaboration with others is something I rely on as a leader. 

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The self-awareness and confidence I developed by challenging myself prepared me to continue raising new challenges for myself and others. By becoming involved, engaged and curious about impacting my peers, I began to seek out opportunities that would allow me to do so on a larger scale. The learning I was doing in these new roles helped me draft more eye-catching letters to internships and rotations with pharmacy associations in the Washington, D.C. area. My answers to interview questions were improved by the depth of my responsibilities, resulting in an unbelievable opportunity to move to the D.C. area for my final year of pharmacy school. By challenging myself, I was able to challenge the traditional expectation that I would spend my final year of pharmacy school in South Carolina. My curiosity and confidence caused me to go after unique opportunities in the profession that only exist in the D.C. area. The first experience was a summer internship with the American Society of Consultant Pharmacists. Then, afterward, I moved onto rotations with Georgetown University Hospital, two independent community pharmacies, and two pharmacy associations. Without Dr. Randazzo’s class, I never would have recognized the importance of developing the resiliency that carried me forward. By taking a risk and thinking outside the box about how to spend my final year, I gained four months worth of experience at pharmacy associations in DC - something I don't believe has ever been done before by a student at any school. As a result, I look forward to starting with the American Pharmacists Association (APhA) as their Executive Resident in Association Management and Leadership this June. 

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In this new role, I want to help other students develop psychological hardiness by supporting self-awareness and leadership training through APhA. As I begin my new role alongside leaders in the profession, I hope to inspire other student pharmacists and pharmacists to challenge themselves and the conventions of the pharmacy profession throughout their careers. At the end of Dr. Randazzo’s class, he left us with a quote from Dr. Suess that says, “Success does not breed future success. Failure does.” My collegiate career has shown me that I am capable of taking risks and reaching new heights. Trying new and unconventional things has helped me embrace failures and challenges in a way that unleashed a fearlessness in me. As I embark on my career, I am prepared to embrace my curiosity and look back on challenges with perspective.